{"id":1258,"date":"2008-09-25T12:38:14","date_gmt":"2008-09-25T19:38:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/?p=1258"},"modified":"2008-09-25T12:41:13","modified_gmt":"2008-09-25T19:41:13","slug":"oh-ag","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/?p=1258","title":{"rendered":"Oh, Ag…"},"content":{"rendered":"

‘Sbeen a while since anything came across my referrer log that was sufficiently novel, funny or icky to warrant posting. I’d say this one qualifies.<\/p>\n

Of course by this time I am used to seeing the mouse droppings of Netizens who have reached my site while perusing the Web for various and\/or nefarious\u00a0forms of pr0n, from the amusing (“Erin Esurance nude”) to the disgusting (“enema cam”) to the downright criminal (“uncle fuck niece”). I’ve learned to pretty much shrug it off. If I were much, much\u00a0more\u00a0skilled in the way of computer forensics I might try to set some sort of honeypot trap for the folks in that last category, but I’m not. (Frankly, I’m not sure what I’d do with them after I caught them, though “tag and bag” comes to mind.) So I try to more or less ignore it.<\/p>\n

The one that came in yesterday was, while by no means criminal, so icky and yet so hilarous that I scarcely have the lexicon with which to\u00a0describe\u00a0it. A whole new word needs to be cobbled together for this. Funny yet icky and really kinky….Finucky? Funincky? Fuckedinsky?<\/p>\n

I’ll bet dollars to donuts the Germans already have some term for it, just because their language lends so well to single words comprised of three or four or twelve other complete concepts.<\/p>\n

This was a Google Image search for….<\/p>\n

“bioshock<\/a> porn”.<\/p>\n

Okay, of all the varied permutations of anime\/manga\/videogame-themed smut there may be out there, of all the vasty depths of the genre that one may ply looking for your kicks….why for the love of God BIOSHOCK?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Whatever else they may be\u2014cleverly crafted, somewhat cartoonish, disturbing and creepy\u2014the denizens of the underwater habitat of Rapture around whom the game revolves are\u00a0not<\/em> sexy.<\/p>\n

\"Spider<\/p>\n

Would you want to spend an evening in flagrante delicto<\/em> with this gentleman?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Or how about this comely lass? Care to make the beast with two backs with her?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

These creatures were actually loosely modeled around photographs of early experiments in reconstructive surgery; as in, the ones the surgeons were performing before they started getting it right. Mmm mmm, gotta get me summathat!<\/em><\/p>\n

Of course, there’s a special place for everyone on the great big beautiful Pervert Rainbow, and people who might enjoy looking at illustrations depicting a couple (or trio, or more-o) of insane, homicidal self-mutating plastic-surgery disasters go at it are probably no more warped or less capable of being integrated into society than amputee fetishists, fecophiiles or the folks who keep the Real Doll<\/a> company in business. But still, it boggles the mind. You have to wonder what kind of bizarre titillation this person was actually looking for in this motley crew. I mean, the only creatures who aren’t just completely<\/em> hideous in appearance are….<\/p>\n

Oh, no. No, no nononononono<\/strong>.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Now I want to not only wash my mind out with soap, I want to Lysol my DSL modem and give my Web server an enema. Only problem is, that’ll probably just bring more of the sick bastards to my virtual doorstep. \ud83d\ude2f<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

‘Sbeen a while since anything came across my referrer log that was sufficiently novel, funny or icky to warrant posting. I’d say this one qualifies. Of course by this time I am used to seeing the mouse droppings of Netizens who have reached my site while perusing the Web for various and\/or nefarious\u00a0forms of pr0n, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1258","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-refer-madness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1258","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1258"}],"version-history":[{"count":23,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1258\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1285,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1258\/revisions\/1285"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1258"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1258"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1258"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}