{"id":200,"date":"2005-11-02T22:42:28","date_gmt":"2005-11-03T06:42:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/?p=200"},"modified":"2008-06-22T10:55:27","modified_gmt":"2008-06-22T17:55:27","slug":"phone-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/?p=200","title":{"rendered":"Phone Sex"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Margaret, Shawn and I were just watching South Park (has anyone else noticed that Trey Parker and Matt Stone seem to be off their game this season?) when a commercial came on for <a href=\"http:\/\/www.verizonwireless.com\/b2c\/splash\/splash.jsp?v=5\">the LG VX9800 cell phone<\/a>. It just so happens that I&#8217;m due for a new phone sometime soon, and this ad pushed all my &#8220;gimmie&#8221; buttons.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Oooooooooooo&#8221;, I said.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Eh, looks like it&#8217;ll give you brain cancer,&#8221; Shawn said.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yeah, but holy shit, just look at it,&#8221; I mumbled, mesmerized.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;ll give you brain cancer!&#8221; Margaret shouted.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s giving me an erection,&#8221; I replied.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s when she hit me with a sofa cushion.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Margaret, Shawn and I were just watching South Park (has anyone else noticed that Trey Parker and Matt Stone seem to be off their game this season?) when a commercial came on for the LG VX9800 cell phone. It just so happens that I&#8217;m due for a new phone sometime soon, and this ad pushed [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-200","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-roominations"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/200","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=200"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/200\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=200"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=200"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=200"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}