{"id":334,"date":"2006-07-04T11:46:51","date_gmt":"2006-07-04T19:46:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/?p=334"},"modified":"2008-06-22T09:55:10","modified_gmt":"2008-06-22T16:55:10","slug":"even-happier-fourth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/?p=334","title":{"rendered":"Even Happier Fourth"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>You know how, every once in a while, you come up with just the <em>perfect<\/em> retort to something someone says to you, and no one you know is there to hear it? Well, welcome to reason #12 why I started a blog.<\/p>\n<p>I zipped out this afternoon to pick up just a few more fireworks. (Margaret mentioned offhandedly that people at work had expressed total delight at the idea of shooting down parachute fireworks with Roman candles, and dammit I didn&#8217;t buy any parachutes!) While I was out I stopped in at the nearby Starbucks to burn off some of the $20 gift card that a friend&#8217;s Dad had generously given me as a thank-you for salvaging the data on his ailing-and-failing computer. While I was waiting for my order, I mentioned to the java jockey behind the counter that I was out buying (still more) fireworks. The lady at the counter paused in the middle of handing a five-dollar bill to the cashier for her venti Frappucino, turned to me and, brandishing the fiver in my face, said with a sneer, &#8220;Why don&#8217;t you just burn up a few of these instead?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>To which I promptly replied, &#8220;&#8230;.says the woman buying a five dollar cup of coffee.&#8221;  \ud83d\ude1b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You know how, every once in a while, you come up with just the perfect retort to something someone says to you, and no one you know is there to hear it? Well, welcome to reason #12 why I started a blog. I zipped out this afternoon to pick up just a few more fireworks. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-334","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-roominations"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/334","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=334"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/334\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=334"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=334"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=334"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}