{"id":4184,"date":"2012-06-29T11:48:21","date_gmt":"2012-06-29T18:48:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/?p=4184"},"modified":"2012-06-29T11:48:21","modified_gmt":"2012-06-29T18:48:21","slug":"o-hark-to-the-cry-of-the-spectacled-newbie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/?p=4184","title":{"rendered":"O Hark To The Cry of The Spectacled Newbie"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Soft!  In the distance!  What is this I hear?<\/p>\n<p>BLEAAARRRRGGGHHHH!<\/p>\n<p>Sorry about that, I&#8230;&#8230;oh Christ!<\/p>\n<p>WHOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGHHHHHHHH!<\/p>\n<p>Okay, this officially sucks balls.<\/p>\n<p>I haven&#8217;t worn glasses full time since I was eight or so. That&#8217;s 36 years for those of you counting.  You wanna know how long 36 years is to your eyeballs?  A long, long, LONG time.<br \/>\nI&#8217;ve worn readers for 10 years or so.  That is, ever since global warming started to make things smaller.  But global warming has gotten to the point where, without my readers, I can&#8217;t see what I&#8217;m doing at work about 2\/3 of the time.  And the remaining 1\/3 of my time at work is either spent taking my readers off, going to get my readers from my desk, or trying to remember which pocket I put them in last.<br \/>\nSo a couple of weeks ago I went to the ophthalmologist (I can spell ophthalmologist correctly the first time, please note.  That was one of the questions on our small animal ophtho final and if you didn&#8217;t get it right you automatically lost about half your test points.) to see if he could outfit me with glasses I didn&#8217;t have to take off and put back on all the damn time.<br \/>\nAnd the optometrist called yesterday to say my glasses were ready.<br \/>\nSo this morning I walked up to the optometrist to pick up my glasses.<br \/>\nNow technically, they&#8217;re not bifocals.  They&#8217;re progressives which, supposedly, are easier for those of us who are prone to motion sickness to adjust to.<br \/>\nHaving just had to switch from my *brand new* glasses to my most current readers because the computer screen was so blurry I couldn&#8217;t see what I was typing, I would choose to debate that point, but I really have only owned the things for a little over an hour.  I am going to have to give them more of a chance.<\/p>\n<p>BLEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!<\/p>\n<p>That is, if I can find the Dramamine!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Soft! In the distance! What is this I hear? BLEAAARRRRGGGHHHH! Sorry about that, I&#8230;&#8230;oh Christ! WHOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGHHHHHHHH! Okay, this officially sucks balls. I haven&#8217;t worn glasses full time since I was eight or so. That&#8217;s 36 years for those of you counting. You wanna know how long 36 years is to your eyeballs? A long, long, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4184","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-margarets-musings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4184","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4184"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4184\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4188,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4184\/revisions\/4188"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4184"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4184"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.uncle-andrew.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4184"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}