So most of you will be familiar with my opinions about mornings.

I like my mornings quiet, dim, and routine. And especially this week, since Andrew spent most of last week working godawful shifts and driving to and from Shelton every day, mornings need to be QUIET so that Andrew can sleep off some of the deficit from last week.
The rule this week is Thou Shalt Not Waken The Andrew.

So I’m comfortably bumbling around after my shower clothed -um- appropriately for someone who is about to dress for work and lives with only one other person. Hair wet, towel on my head.
Tiptoe from the shower into the master bathroom (which isn’t actually a bathroom since there’s no shower), reaching for the moisturizer and my toothbrush.

BLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOY…… Well, you get the picture.

Alarm!
The alarm is going off!

My adrenal glands immediately go into ohshit mode. I drop my toothbrush and the glass of water I was holding and go slamming out of the bathroom to shake Andrew awake (amazingly with his ear plugs the alarm didn’t wake him. I told you he’s been tired.) and fumble around in the dark for the bigass knife I keep by my side of the bed.

Losing the towel at some point I go bolting down the dark hallway stark naked (BLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOY…. Sorry, that’s still banging around inside my head) with Andrew a few steps behind me with the bigass knife that he keeps by his side of the bed.

Light switches get thrown. I’m not sure who turned on which lights or how often one of us turned off a (BLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOYBLOY) light that the other had just turned on, but there’s light everywhere, absolutely NO cats, and Andrew and I both bolting down the stairs to the control panel for the alarm to shut the noise up while looking for the malefactor that broke in and set the alarm off.

Silence.

Nothing.

And, thank god, no one.

And then we notice the pair of battery operated eyes that we bought for Halloween that had been sitting on the counter top in the dining room. That HAD been sitting on the counter top in the dining room. That were, at that point, sitting on the floor in the dining room.

It’s nice to know that the glass break sensors for our alarm work. It’s nice to know that we can both find some sort of working weapon in a blind panic in the dark.

I am, however, going to slaughter the cat.

And just for the record, having your adrenal glands on high alert at that hour of the morning is a great way to spend the rest of the day absolutely exhausted.
Andrew, after he slugged down a soda to compensate for the fact that his entire supply of blood sugar had been used up in the panic and he was abruptly hypoglycemic, went back to bed and slept –Flitter carefully and quietly at his feet — for another two hours.
I got dressed and went to work, but was drooling into my keyboard by 9 a.m.
I’m not a coffee drinker, but I think I’ll stick with coffee, thanks.