Pardon me, but do you really believe that?

Filed under: @ 6:21 pm

I had all these lofty ideas of puttering in my garden for a bit after I got off work this afternoon, but I’m still not over the galloping buboes that I caught last weekend and it’s too hot (okay it’s only 77F, but still) for me to get Trogdor out and burninate the little plants and grass starts that are growing in the cracks in between the patio bricks so I’ll take this opportunity to whip this out

I know I’ve introduced the idea of the “Dear Client” thread. But for those who are new to UADN allow me to explain. “Dear Client” is a collection of letters, an ongoing monologue if you will, from those of us who subscribe to the Veterinary Information Network to some of our most special clients. “Special”, you must understand, has a very broad definition in this case. “Dear Client” is a therapeutic medium for those of us who have to say things out loud (as it were) to SOMEone to keep the words that we have to say to some of the pet owning public from bursting out of our heads through our eye sockets.

And so I present:

Dear Client

When I asked “Were you planning on having your puppy neutered?”, your response was “No, because he won’t get into dog heaven without all his parts.”
I gotta ask…. Do you actually believe that or are you telling me that because your macho military husband is too worried about his own manhood to do what’s best for his pet’s health because if his dog were castrated that would mean he’s a eunuch too?

Enquiring minds want to know


I wonder what the airfare is like?

Filed under: @ 1:31 pm

Some years ago I found, while watching a Blackadder episode (and as an aside, if you’ve never seen Blackadder I’d recommend it. It’s pretty damn funny.), what has to be my favorite threat of all time.
Faced with a catastrophe of his own making and wanting to avoid the consequences of same Blackadder states: “I’m going to Nepal to live as a goat!”

Yesterday I was involved in a discussion with one of my online veterinary buddies who was in the midst of contesting an unemployment claim. The fired employee said, in her claim to the unemployment commission, that she’d never been told that she had to show up to work or she’d be fired. That it wasn’t stated in my colleague’s employee manual that regular attendance at one’s job was a prerequisite for keeping same. The unemployment commission wasn’t questioning my colleague about why this twit had been fired, they were asking my colleague if it were true that her employee manual was so deficient. 😯

Today I went to Wild Birds Unlimited to pick up some sunflower seeds for our piggie, er, bird feeders. I got the bag of seed, schlepped it to my car and dumped it in the back. Then I noticed the wording on the back of the bag. “Directions: Open bag. Place seed in bird feeder.”

If we, as a society, have dumbed down to the point where it has to be explicitly written that one must show up to one’s job if one is to keep it, and that there is legislation that requires the producers of bird seed to put instructions for its use on the back of the bag I’ve only got one thing to say.


All portions of this site are © Andrew Lenzer, all rights reserved, unless otherwise noted.