O Hark To The Cry of The Spectacled Newbie

Filed under: @ 11:48 am

Soft! In the distance! What is this I hear?


Sorry about that, I……oh Christ!


Okay, this officially sucks balls.

I haven’t worn glasses full time since I was eight or so. That’s 36 years for those of you counting. You wanna know how long 36 years is to your eyeballs? A long, long, LONG time.
I’ve worn readers for 10 years or so. That is, ever since global warming started to make things smaller. But global warming has gotten to the point where, without my readers, I can’t see what I’m doing at work about 2/3 of the time. And the remaining 1/3 of my time at work is either spent taking my readers off, going to get my readers from my desk, or trying to remember which pocket I put them in last.
So a couple of weeks ago I went to the ophthalmologist (I can spell ophthalmologist correctly the first time, please note. That was one of the questions on our small animal ophtho final and if you didn’t get it right you automatically lost about half your test points.) to see if he could outfit me with glasses I didn’t have to take off and put back on all the damn time.
And the optometrist called yesterday to say my glasses were ready.
So this morning I walked up to the optometrist to pick up my glasses.
Now technically, they’re not bifocals. They’re progressives which, supposedly, are easier for those of us who are prone to motion sickness to adjust to.
Having just had to switch from my *brand new* glasses to my most current readers because the computer screen was so blurry I couldn’t see what I was typing, I would choose to debate that point, but I really have only owned the things for a little over an hour. I am going to have to give them more of a chance.


That is, if I can find the Dramamine!


And the answer is…….

Filed under: @ 6:13 pm


Fisherbear got it in one!!

Jerry is a 9 month old lab puppy who is a 3 time offender for eating foreign objects. The first time it was river rocks. The second (and third, and fourth if you want to be technical about it since he ate and then vomited twice) was a pair of underwear.
The third time was this:

We are currently taking bets as to when we will be doing surgery on Jerry to remove some foreign object from his capacious gut. My bet is sometime before he’s 18 months old, but I’ve gotten a lot of skepticism on that one. People think I’m being optimistic. And, considering that Jerry has a 2 year old boy at home, I may be. But that’s my bet and I’m sticking to it.

Fisherbear, what are you drinking?


Now _this_ is awesome!

Filed under: @ 5:56 pm

Bragging rights go to whoever is first able to guess the foreign body. Note that I’m only interested in the big, major foreign body. The littler ones don’t count.

Super extra special bragging rights, and probably a drink the next time I see you, go to whoever can accurately guess the breed and the approximate age of the offender.

I’ll post the answer the next time I get around to it.


It’s a matter of semantics

Filed under: @ 6:26 pm

Okay, I promise I’ll get it together to post a more, well, *meaty* discussion here in a bit, but I just have to get this one off my chest.

Listening to the radio with a casual ear this morning I heard one of those obnoxious “Play our game and win fabulous prizes” type ads that are so popular with the lottery folks.

It ended with “If you don’t play, you can’t win!”

To which I, without even thinking about it, replied:

“Yeah, and if you don’t play you can’t lose!”

Taking “you can’t lose” as a synonym for “you’ll win!” makes those ads a good deal less toxic in my opinion.

The game is rigged, the house always wins. Don’t play, you can’t lose!

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