The Joys Of Cat Ownership
Uncle Andrew
Part of the strategy for raising a new kitten (or pair of kittens, in this case) and simultaneously retaining your sanity involves learning to anticipate the unanticipable. Forbearance is the watchword: it’s not possible to think of everything, but the more scenarios you can conjure up—no matter how outlandish they may seem at the time—the better prepared you will be.
A case in point? Why certainly, thanks for asking!
I was fairly groggy this morning; my carpal tunnel syndrome was acting up, which kept my left hand all hot and tingly for much of the wee hours. At 7:20 I hauled my carcass out of bed. I stumbled down the hall to take a leak and, seeing no cats, failed to close the bathroom door.
The time—among other things—passes uneventfully….
I had (thankfully) finished my business but had yet to completely conclude the transaction when Pogo, silent as death and ten times dumber, eeled into the WC on stealthy ninja kitty feet. Before I could flush, he slipped in next to me and jumped up onto the top surface of the toilet to see what all the hubbub was about.
But of course, there was no upper surface to the toilet at that moment; otherwise how would my waste successfully complete its magical journey from self to sewer? Ka-BLOOSH.
Seconds later, now wide awake, I am washing off my highly befuddled, urine-soaked cat under a stream of water in the lavatory sink. Only a supreme act of self-control kept me from simply slamming down the lid and flushing him away with the rest of the bowl’s occupants.
4 Responses to “The Joys Of Cat Ownership”
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September 3rd, 2008 at 5:21 pm
I had something somewhat similar happen when dearly departed inside kitty was just a kitten. In the middle of the night, I rolled over in bed and snorgled my adolescent kitten and vaguely wondered why she smelled of motor oil. Motor oil?!? Got me right out of bed, tell you. She could go in and out the dog door, so she’d probably been sitting under Alan’s patrol car when he got off duty enjoying the radiant warmth and observing the nighttime neighborhood goings-on from its relative safety. At that time, said patrol car had a very small oil leak–which was why it was in the driveway and not the garage.
I agree, bathing an oil slicked kitten-going-onto-cat in the middle of the night is indeed an experience.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:25 am
Boy, urine or motor oil, urine or motor oil….that’s a toughie. One’s easier to get out of the fur, one’s less yucky. I guess, given the heat and ammonia, you could always use urine to clean off your oil-soaked cat. 😛
September 4th, 2008 at 9:46 am
Fortunately we never had any mishaps with the toilet during our latest infestation with pre-adult cats.
Occupied bathtubs on the other hand…
September 4th, 2008 at 10:11 am
Well, at least that way the cat comes out cleaner for the exchange.