7/16/2005

A Quick Show Of Hands, Please….

Uncle AndrewUncle Andrew
Filed under: @ 2:57 pm

Is anyone out there in my circle of readers besides myself not sitting around waiting for their copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince to arrive?

Why of course there are, Andrew; those who joined the throngs at the bookstores at midnight. 🙄

Look, I’m happy for all of you, really; the mere fact that this phenomenon has united people from age four to four hundred says something positive about it—so long as mass weddings officiated by J.K. Rowling don’t follow.

But oh Lord, am I tired of hearing about it. I’m sure I would love the series. It is, no doubt, what I have been waiting all my life to read. I imagine my very existence would triple in value if I were only to pick up Harry Potter and the Freemason’s Stone….The Goblet of Hemlock….The Order of Fries….whatever the first book in the series is called.

On the other hand, it is precisely because of just such adjurations from my fellow carbon units that I will most likely never, ever, ever pick up any of these books. Over time they have metamorphosed from books into a character-building exercise, from an entertaining passtime into something akin to mowing the lawn: a chore that really must be done before it gets any worse. I’m an adult, so I don’t have to do things simply because other people tell me that I ought to. At the same time, I’m just immature enough to not want to do something, simply because other people tell me that I ought to.

So, dear readers, enjoy your Potterage. I hope it’s everything you were hoping for. Me, I think I’ll spend the time rereading Shadow of the Giant, or playing Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, or upping my regimen of J-Horror flicks while I wait for this thing to blow over.

At least until Harry Potter and the Prolapsed Colon comes out in 2007.

13 Responses to “A Quick Show Of Hands, Please….”

  1. Scot Says:

    I’m with you. Ive never read the books or seen the movies. I really have no desire to. Maybe we should apply for minority status.

  2. Gavin Says:

    Hey Andrew, have you read the new Harry Potter book yet? It’s really good! I’m sure you’ve read the whole series, everybody has by now….

  3. Uncle Andrew Says:

    I’m with you. Ive never read the books or seen the movies. I really have no desire to. Maybe we should apply for minority status.

    I’ve actually seen the movies, which I enjoyed enough. But it sure didn’t make me say to myself, “My God, I simply must read the books!” Or play the video game, or eat the cereal, or buy the Hero Clicks….I normally consider myself pretty mediapathic, but this particular campaign has really passed me by.

    Hey Andrew, have you read the new Harry Potter book yet? It’s really good! I’m sure you’ve read the whole series, everybody has by now…

    Up yours. In fact, stand next to a couple of your colleagues at work, and up theirs, too. 😛

    On an annoyingly simliar topic, have you read Shadow of the Giant yet? I’m simply amazed how Card has managed to spin out this whole parallel Enderverse story so well. What a storyteller.

  4. Marla Meislin Says:

    hi – are you the andrew lenzer i’m looking for? if so… we may have a few shared fond memories
    of fall 1986. if not, sorry to bother you.

  5. Dalek Says:

    Question: “Is anyone out there in my circle of readers besides myself not sitting around waiting for their copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince to arrive?”

    Answer: Well, I’m not sitting around waiting for my copy to arrive. Too much to do – and I know that my British copy will be arriving sometime late in the week, and that sitting around doing nothing will not make it arrive any faster. 😉

    Seriously, I completely understand about the “sick-of-the-hype-and-I-won’t-read-it-because” feeling. I have never read Enders Game (or anything by Orson Scott Card) for similar reasons: I got sick of everyone telling me that I had to read it. No I don’t, I haven’t, and the world has not ended thereby.

  6. Margaret Says:

    Well I finished my copy, all 680 some pages of it, in a blaze of glory starting at about 4p.m. Saturday ending, after a significant break for my parents’ travel slides and sleep, at just before 2p.m. Sunday. It was a fabulous book, I admire the living daylights out of J.K. Rowling for being able to consistently surpass herself in the quality of her storytelling, and I hope she’s making a gazillion billion bucks doing it.
    That having been said, however, I wouldn’t stand in line at midnight at a bookstore (and no, it’s NOT just because I can’t stay up that late), nor would I dress up in robes and a hat to go to a Harry Potter themed magic show or pre-release party.
    I am just glad, and frankly occasionally astonished, that this culture can respond in this frenetic a fashion for something that neither moves hypnotically in front of them on a cathode ray tube nor involves mind numb mouth breathers eating leeches and horse eyeballs for money.

  7. Gavin Says:

    “I am just glad, and frankly occasionally astonished, that this culture can respond in this frenetic a fashion for something that neither moves hypnotically in front of them on a cathode ray tube nor involves mind numb mouth breathers eating leeches and horse eyeballs for money”

    I agree, in fact I was disappointed when they made the movies, (as fun as they are) as one of the best parts of the over hyped event is that people were actually reading. Glad to donate my $ to her for this level of entertainment.

  8. Uncle Andrew Says:

    I feel the need to clear the air here….

    In case anyone besides my lovely wife happened to wonder about this comment above, Marla is an old college friend, with whom I had lost touch. She happened to stumble across my blog, and posted a comment in an attempt to confirm my identity. I’m glad she did, too: we were pals back in the day, though not, as some might have wondered, romantically involved. 🙂

    Hi Marla, welcome aboard the Crazy Train!

  9. Mother Says:

    I have read the first four, am waitingforCostcoor Sam’s Club to ome out with a cheap copy . I still haven’t read number five, but I own it. Will read it before no. six. I will leave all seven copies toyou in my will Andrew, if Margaret has sold hers in a rare book auction. love Mom

  10. Sis Says:

    The book can be had for half price at Costco, a mere $16 something instead of the $29.95. Mom, if you want me to get it for you, I’d be happy to! Sorry Drew, you’ll have to borrow Margaret’s.

    PS Thanks for posting the weather in Kailua-Kona!

  11. Uncle Andrew Says:

    Mom?? Hot damn, you’re using the Interweb! Good on ya!

  12. fisherbear Says:

    Read the first one (untranslated from its original British.) Saw the first movie. Read “Ender’s Game.”

    And yes, I really can eat just one.

  13. Uncle Andrew Says:

    Read the first one (untranslated from its original British.) Saw the first movie. Read “Ender’s Game.”

    Gotta admit, you’re an anomaly. Most folks, myself included, tend to gorge ourselves on the things we find appealing, rather than nibbling from everything at the buffet. *Urp* more sequel, please!


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