Rumination On The Relation Between Perspiration And High-Tech Hydration

Uncle AndrewUncle Andrew
Filed under: @ 9:20 am

I just noticed something this morning after my soak.

Should it bother me that my deodorant should come in a variety of “scents” whose names strangely mirror the names of the “flavors” of my sport drink?

Sample of Varieties of Speed Stick:

Icy Surge
Fresh Rush
Cool Fusion
Clean Blast

Sample of Varieties of Gatorade:

Ice Punch
Riptide Rush
Cool Blue
Glacier Freeze

Sensing a pattern here?

Why do I get the feeling that these two unique products are made in adjoining rooms of a giant New Jersey “Toxic Corridor” chemical plant? In fact, that is no doubt the case, and should hardly surprise me.

The only question now is whether I could kill two birds with one stone by rubbing Gatorade into my armpits….or drinking my deodorant.

6 Responses to “Rumination On The Relation Between Perspiration And High-Tech Hydration”

  1. fisherbear Says:

    Your deodorant probably has fewer calories. The extra sugar would make Gatorade a bit sticky in the pits.

  2. Uncle Andrew Says:

    Ever the pragmatist. 😉

    Not to mention, the deodorant contains a full day’s supply of aluminum.

  3. Joe Says:

    Interesting observation, but there are two varieties of Speed Stick where the corresponding flavors of Gatorade would just be wrong. Unscented, which would probably taste like sweetened mineral water and Sport Talc, which congers images of sipping straight from the can of baby powder.

  4. Uncle Andrew Says:

    “Unscented” to me would correspond to Original Gatorade, Lemon Lime. As for the Sport Talc….don’t sell these people short. Who’s to say that magnesium silicate isn’t a valuable hydration aid?

  5. Dalek Says:

    Can I just say “Ew”?

    Thank you.


    or for the old-school amongst your readership:


    *still wincing at the thought of drinking deodorant*

  6. Uncle Andrew Says:

    If I used roll-on, it would be a snap; just pop the little plastic ball out and *glugluglug*….aaahhhhhh…. 😉

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