Wow! Pass the brain bleach please!

Filed under: @ 6:37 pm

Not really ranting about work per se, more about people in general, but people in general with whom I would not have interacted UNLESS I’d been at work, so I guess this is a work related rant. Sorry about that.

And I’m sorry about the shotgun commas. I never was very good at punctuation.

What on earth would possess someone to tell an almost complete stranger on the other end of the phone that she was naked?


I was on the phone with a client the other day talking to her about a prescription that I was going to have filled for her through our online pharmacy. She KNEW I was talking about our online pharmacy because we’d just finished talking about the previous prescription I’d filled for her dog through our online pharmacy.
And I quote: “Well I’m naked right now so I’m just going to get dressed and then I’ll call you right back.”

So a: Why did her being naked have ANYthing to do with whether or not she could talk to me on the phone?
b: WHY DIDN’T SHE JUST SAY “Gosh! I’m busy right now, can you give me a few minutes and I’ll call you back?” ?!
c: If she were naked and she knew that she couldn’t talk on the phone while she was naked (why not? but that’s another question.) WHY’D SHE PICK UP IN THE FIRST PLACE?! I know she’s got an answering machine, I’ve talked to it often. I prefer talking to her machine than talking to her.

That was an image that just I did not need.

And the second doozy of the week…..

Guy presents me with his very itchy, very badly affected with bacterial dermatitis, dog. I did my exam, took some samples from the dog’s ears then excused myself to look at the goo samples under the microscope.
I came back to the exam room with my microscopic findings (bacterial ottis externa too, what a surprise!) to find him vigorously scratching the dog’s back for her. She was enjoying the scratching and curved herself into a big C shape so he could more effectively scratch at the base of her tail.
I said to the dog “Ooo! The butt scratches are pretty good, huh Sheba?” (name changed to protect the innocent)
and the client replied:
“Yeah, she’s always liked her butt scratched. ‘Course, I enjoy getting my butt scratched too!”

-> ! <- I guess I'm lucky. I've never had anyone drop trou at me (and I do know many veterinarians who have had clients bare their all at them for one reason or another), but really.... Did I NEED to know that? REALLY?! I've had people pee on the floor, we had someone poop on the floor at 5 Corners, I had one frighteningly crazy woman scratching her GIGANTIC ringworm lesions against the walls and the table in my exam room. But in terms of flat out gross, learning that this -oh mid 60s-ish - guy likes to have his butt scratched...... I did not need to know that. If there were a barfing smiley I'd be putting that in here about now. I really do wonder about people sometimes.

One Response to “Wow! Pass the brain bleach please!”

  1. Valerie Says:

    OMG. Stories like that make me ever so happy I work in a cube farm. Not that it makes us immune to all incidents…. A few years back I was on one of my quarterly meetings/phone calls that we designees are required to attend. We are all supposedly the “best and the brightest” of all here, those of us who are tasked with negotiating the continued airworthiness (or in my case environmental certification) of Boeing’s airplanes with domestic and international regulatory authorities. Or at least we’re the engineers at the company who can most smoothly communicate complex technical details with outsiders without resorting to pointing and grunting. Anyways, I’m on the telecon with about 100 of my peers–some of whom have dialed in from their desks, some dialed in from home, some are all gathered in the big conference room getting the presentations live–and inevitably a rather large number of participants have failed to mute their phones, in spite of many, many requests to do so. (Er, “best and brightest” indeed….) So halfway through this four hour ordeal broadcasts the now classic line “…that’s because I’m not wearing any pants!” Then the moderator comes on and says “Someone REALLY needs to mute their phone!” Never did figure out who it was, though consensus of opinion hopes that the perpetrator was phoning in from home and not from their desk.

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