Godless Secular Humanists And The Goblet Of Fi—Er, War On Christmas

Uncle AndrewUncle Andrew
Filed under: @ 10:02 am

As most of you are probably already aware, I listen to a lot of Talk Radio. I sit here in my office/NOC/hamster ball working on projects for my employer, and since I do not have to pay much attention to the phone, I take up my spare mind cycles by listening to NPR, KIRO and KPTK. One of my favorite hosts is Dave Ross, who combines a common-sense approach with a strong streak of mellow good humor. He’s on Monday through Friday, nine to noon.

I’ve noticed a weird trend this year among his callers. About twenty percent of the people who end up on the air begin or end their call with the phrase, “Merry Christmas”. Only they don’t say it like a salutation. There’s this bizarre emphasis to it: “Hey Dave, thanks for taking my call, and Merry Christmas!“. The tone these callers use to enunciate the phrase is strangely strident, kind of snide and aggressive.

It took a couple of instances before I figured out what was going on: these people have appointed themselves the unofficial Guardians of Christmas. No “Happy Holidays” for these people, nosireebob-cat-tail. The holiday is Christmas, and by God (naturally), they’re going to say Merry Christmas, no matter what no liberals or Muslims or faggots have to say about it. Take that, Mister Liberal Media Talk Show Host!

The ironic part of it is that, in taking this particular, smug-yet-angry, defensive-yet-aggressive stance, they are unwittingly deconstructing the premise of the very phrase they claim to be protecting. Never has “Merry Christmas” sounded so much like “Fuck You”.

So much for “Peace on Earth, good will toward men“. 🙄

6 Responses to “Godless Secular Humanists And The Goblet Of Fi—Er, War On Christmas”

  1. david Says:

    hello roo sorry for all the crappy emails lately sometimes i cant help
    myself wish you guys could be at the folks house for the first maybe next year
    have a great xsmass your bro david

  2. Mike Says:

    And Merry Christmas!

  3. Uncle Andrew Says:

    Hey David! I know you can’t resist the weird emails; that’s cool, so long as they don’t contain animals fucking or people being blown apart. 😉

    Merry Christmas to you and Marle as well. And you too, Mike; Mele Kalikimaka!

  4. Gavin Says:

    Merry Christmas and the horse you rode in on! 😀

  5. Uncle Andrew Says:

    That’s “reindeer”, Mister. 😛

    Same to you and yours.

  6. david Says:

    hello andrew well 2 more days and its off to hawaii for a week we cant
    wait i had to bug mom for the last 4 months to make sure to get me a
    fireworks permit cant wait!!!! we are not allowed to have anything
    good here in freeking california rat basterds anyways hope your
    xsmass was good and you have a great new years without fireworks 🙁
    we are now in the digital age as we have bought our first dig camera
    way cool i will send some pics of hawaii and of my first tattoo appt
    on jan 6th i found a new guy to start the better part of a body suit
    yes i know im nuts but it is better than spending money on things
    that get me into trouble check him out greg james at sunset tattoo
    he is the best at japanese style tattooes bye for now david

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