Truth In Advertising, Part 4

Uncle AndrewUncle Andrew
Filed under: @ 11:42 am

I pulled this out of a recent back issue of PC Magazine:

Truth In Advertising, Part 4

This ad brings all sorts of questions to mind. One of the foremost being: how in Gods name did smokeless tobacco ever become an advertiser in a computer magazine? Am I missing something? Are there lots of grizzled ex-loggers fleeing the failing tree-felling industry, getting out of the forest and into the server closet? Do propeller-heads regularly fantasize about dropping out of the IT rat race and joining the NASCAR circuit? Do an appreciable percentage of computer geeks fear that they aren’t getting cancer fast enough from the myriad source of high EMF they work amongst every day, and have therefore decided to hedge their bets neoplasia-wise by increasing their hands-on contact with another known carcinogen?

The mind boggles, even as the lip chancres and the tongue falls out.

But the real reason I posted this here has less to do with the nature of the product, its consumers or the likelihood of there being any appreciable crossover between either in the computer-magazine-reading demographic than with the scenario depicted in this ad. Observe yon fun-loving, precancerous frat boys; so young, so full of zest for life, vaulting in happy, good-natured-camaraderie-with-no-trace-of-latent-homoeroticism from the deck of their fancy pleasure craft into the (presumably) azure water below. Note also the attendant nubile female hardbodies enjoying the scene from below. Notice how they stand in the gently rippling surf, the serene waters lapping at their thighs. (One wonders what the chick in the background plans on doing with that surfboard she’s carrying in such a complete doldrum; perhaps she’s planning on paddling the thing to an outlying island with better surf.)

Notice how the three young men, while certainly closer to the “camera” in this pathetically Photoshopped tableau than the two sweet thangs watching them, do not seem to be appreciably further out to sea. Notice again the apparent the depth of the water in which the women are standing.

The message would appear to be, “use Skoal® brand Smokeless Tobacco: it’ll so poison your brain that jumping off a ten-foot deck into three feet of water will seem like a good idea!”

Exploration has its perks, like discovering local hospitals. 😛

4 Responses to “Truth In Advertising, Part 4”

  1. Dalek Says:

    *snicker* Yes, the imminent breaking-of-the-legs was the first thing that caught my eye in that ad. It’s even funnier given that my immediate boss (also male) is a chewer… :-p

  2. Uncle Andrew Says:

    It’s even funnier given that my immediate boss (also male) is a chewer…

    Eeeeewwwww….so maybe you can shed some light on this prospective connection between the Code Warrior and the use of that crap. Is there an appreciable percentage of programmers/IS/IT guys who chew? And for the love of God why?

  3. fisherbear Says:

    I’ve known a lot of coders. Several are / were smokers, but if any of them were consumers of chaw / snuff / nicotine tea bags, they concealed it well.

    If there’s a tech-specific appeal to the stuff, it’s probably just that it’s a non-prescription nicotine delivery system that can be applied without leaving the building. Lighting a cigarette in a datacenter would result in being fired on the spot, even if you didn’t set off the fire suppression system.

    Personally, I like that they’re packaging it as a “citrus blend.” Twice the nicotine, but only 95% of the smell!

  4. Uncle Andrew Says:

    I can see the appeal of a non-aerosolized nicotine delivery device in the workplace, but if I managed a person who used chew on the job I’d find reasons to have his ass fired. or killed.

    The only serious contact I have with tobacco is second-hand smoke; I can’t imagine that flavor being enhanced with a smidge of artificial lemon/lime. ❗

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