9/2/2008

The Joys Of Cat Ownership

Uncle AndrewUncle Andrew
Filed under: @ 1:11 pm

Part of the strategy for raising a new kitten (or pair of kittens, in this case) and simultaneously retaining your sanity involves learning to anticipate the unanticipable. Forbearance is the watchword: it’s not possible to think of everything, but the more scenarios you can conjure up—no matter how outlandish they may seem at the time—the better prepared you will be.

A case in point? Why certainly, thanks for asking!

I was fairly groggy this morning; my carpal tunnel syndrome was acting up, which kept my left hand all hot and tingly for much of the wee hours. At 7:20 I hauled my carcass out of bed. I stumbled down the hall to take a leak and, seeing no cats, failed to close the bathroom door.

The time—among other things—passes uneventfully….

I had (thankfully) finished my business but had yet to completely conclude the transaction when Pogo, silent as death and ten times dumber, eeled into the WC on stealthy ninja kitty feet. Before I could flush, he slipped in next to me and jumped up onto the top surface of the toilet to see what all the hubbub was about.

But of course, there was no upper surface to the toilet at that moment; otherwise how would my waste successfully complete its magical journey from self to sewer? Ka-BLOOSH.

Seconds later, now wide awake, I am washing off my highly befuddled, urine-soaked cat under a stream of water in the lavatory sink. Only a supreme act of self-control kept me from simply slamming down the lid and flushing him away with the rest of the bowl’s occupants.


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