I made a man think I was absolutely drooling batshit crazy today.

Dude calls, he’s concerned because they put up their Christmas tree last night and now they’re missing one of the light bulbs. They’re fairly sure the dog has eaten it.

No, it’s not really that strange an idea to contemplate. Dogs eat light bulbs, particularly during the holidays, all the time.

But the dude wanted my recommendations as to what to do. He wasn’t really concerned about the size of the bulb, it was one of the “twinkle light” sized bulbs, that is to say about 1/2 by 1 1/2cm, and he was fairly sure the dog could pass it on her own, but he was concerned because the bulb had four rather stiff wires at the base which could potentially get stuck in the dog’s stomach lining.

*hee hee!* 😆

I swear I’m serious.

I offered the standard recommendation — if he wanted to be sure the dog actually ate the bulb, he should come in and we could take an x-ray of her abdomen. The plastic bits wouldn’t show up on an x-ray, but the wire would show up nicely.
The other alternative, I told him, was to feed the dog 8-10 standard sized cotton balls mixed in milk or in canned dog food followed by 3 slices of cheap white bread thickly spread with cat hairball ointment.

It’s Andrew’s opinion that the dude was convinced that I was the night janitor and was just trying it on with him to see how ludicrous a suggestion I could get away with. And I’m sure the effect was emphasized by the fact that I’ve never met this particular client nor his dog.

I just wonder if he did what I recommended. 😀